A Bushel and a Peck

Birthdays, a celebration of life.  This year Cayden turns three. He is growing right before me and I am in awe of all he has accomplished this year. He is reaching milestone, after milestone. With each of his birthdays I always love to look back and revisit our past year and all it has taught us.

   Milestones, significant and memorable measures of time. Today was a big milestone for me. Letting go is an ongoing battle I face in my journey of Motherhood. Never has Cayden looked so young then when his hair is overgrown. Streaks of red glimmer when light hits it. On his first birthday, I wrestled with if I would cut it, or let it grow, inevitably I would cut it. But his hair carried baby years. Odd, I know it’s a strange thought. His hair growing felt like him remaining young forever. Carrying him has become harder. A delight every mother adores and cherishes. My arms don’t have the same strength they once had. Regardless, I still carry him and relish the joy I feel in doing so. However, in a way I’ve come to realize that if you don’t let go, you enable. Cayden loves to walk, and run. Well his version of running is speed walking very fast and flashing that sneaky smile as he runs with anticipation of us catching him. With me carrying him I realize I’ve deprived him of his delight in running. The hardest of the details in my letting go is his desire to put himself to sleep. At night as I watch him drift to sleep, memories flood me. There was once a time that I was his goodnight, rocking him as I sang. He would look up with those big, brown eyes and I would just melt. His sweet little grin would gleam and the quote, “then my soul saw him and it kind of went, “Oh there you are. I’ve been looking for you(Unknown)” would flash in my mind. He is forever my Babybear. With him I’ve learned what truly love really is, and one of my favorite quotes about my life after Cayden is, “And she loved a little boy very much, even more than she loved herself. (Unknown)” Time and love are intertwined; they grow as time goes on. Time has also taught me that life is in continuing motion; it slows for no one.

    Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters. This year has been full of many up’s and down’s; cancer, high risk pregnancies, medical complications, and really just simply hell on earth. There have been many times I’ve wondered if things will ever look up. The relevance of this is that my little boy holds a special power, he can light up anything in darkness. The greatest learned this year is that life is truly precious, it is not promised, nor does it wait for anyone. So enjoy the moments, embrace love, and stand together. Our family is changing with many new additions of cousins. Cayden doesn’t understand all that is happening around him, but in the tribulations we’ve faced this year he has helped by bringing sunshine with his little grin. One of the many things I adore about my son is his calmness with the sea is raging. Even when he is sick, gets a boo-boo, or is just plain being a stink-butt, if he sees your upset he comes to the rescue with his smile. (A funny note is that he never lets anyone cry alone, if one of his cousin cries, he cries.) To kids we are there superhero’s, but more and more do I realize my son is mine. He puts on his cape all in his own time, and his superpower is his smile and its shine.

“You have filled my heart with greater joy.”

-Psalm 4:7

Letting go is a process that continues for years, and years. Cayden will have many more milestones, adventures, and experiences. In a blink, they’ll be gone and he will be on to another. Each I’ll miss and cherish for there worth, but in them I’ll find joy in all he has accomplished.

Learning happens every day. Every experience, every decision, every chance, every adventure, simply everything teaches us a lesson. As a mom the biggest struggle I have is excepting the inevitable. My son is growing, he is getting older, wiser, and he has many more adventures. The hardest part I’ll face is letting go is allowing him to have his own experiences, but I know that I will and by me doing that his journey will inspire others. “Learning is their journey. Let them navigate. Push them to explore. Watch them discover. Encourage their questions. Allow them to struggle. Support their thinking. Let them fly. (Unknown)”

Cayden is turning THREE on the 25^th. He starts school this fall. Early-On has been a great support and has taught me a lot. I was able to grow as a parent, and in a way discover another one of my passions, which is working with Special Needs Kids.  He has accomplished a lot this year, a few of his accomplishments are: Signing (He knows More, All Done, and Drink), He can say more than five words (Mom, Nana, Papa, Stop (but says Top), NO, Bubbles, and Star), tries to feed himself with silverware, runs, goes up and down stairs, takes naps in his bed, puts himself to sleep, climbs, jumps on a trampoline, combs his hair, and helps me clean. To many these are simple tasks that are usually accomplished within year and a half or the second year, but for me this is a victory. Cayden is exceling! He is learning, he is on his own journey and at his own pace. I am his mother, and I can say that, “The best is surely yet to come.” Cayden’s future is bright, and he is everything I could have ever asked for. He is our sunshine on a cloudy day. So to end this I’d Like to say, “Happy Birthday, Mommy Loves you a Bushel, a Peck, and a Hug around the neck.”