A Journey in Milestones

A Journey in Milestones

I once use to worry about all that my son would face, “Would he reach all his milestones?” “Would he learn to crawl?” I have the worse anxiety known to man, I believe, my Mom told me it just comes with being a Mom, but that I need to relax and just pace myself. I now understand a lot of things I never did with my Mom, she’d always stress about where I or my sisters were, or who we were hanging out with, when we were coming home? I can only imagine how many times she wanted to pull her hair out with us, and even now I’m sure she still does at times. I get it now though, worrying is just motherly nature.

                            Sometimes I find myself stressing over little trivial things, trying to do and be Super- Mom, not realizing that my son already thinks that I’m his Superhero, it’s weird to think that someone looks to me as their hero. When he cries he comes to me, when he’s tired he comes to me, when he wants to run away from his therapist while she is trying to work with him, he comes to me; I am his safe haven. BUT… make no mistake he is my safe haven as well. When days get tough, and when my worries overtake me, I just look at him, and realize, “Hey, he’s doing everything in his own time, and each step is a big one”, then it’s almost as if on cue I look at him and he just smiles and his smile just lights up my whole world, and all the worries fade away.

When Cayden first started therapy it was a struggle, he would fight everything. We’d work on steps, and goals to reach milestones and it just seemed like he wasn’t getting it, but really it wasn’t him not getting it, it was me. My son was reaching milestones on his own time, and here I was looking online and seeing all my friends kids basing their milestones on my son, boy was I wrong. I now look at my friends kids milestones, and while they are amazing, I don’t compare them to my son’s. Every stride he makes is special to me, and show’s so much improvement, he’s proud, and so am I. Recently this September when Therapy started back up my Son was a working machine! Every time his therapist taught him something the next day he was doing it all on his own. He was trying to learn to crawl before this, but wasn’t quite getting pattering, then when she taught him that, next day, boy did he fly. I now have gates up around the house, and have to close doors. Little things like that just light my heart. Such a big accomplishment, and I am so proud. Though I won’t lie, he is a troublemaker, get’s into everything, but ya know I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Right now were working on feeding and let me tell you I never knew that it be this hard, but were making strides every day.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5-6

Though the true credit in all of this is God, he has been rocking my mind this year, and past few months, just teaching me to trust and him and be still. I think the hardest thing as a parent, and really as a human is to realize that he is in control, and I am not. He’s taught me to really appreciate the little milestones even more, like my son sitting up, or even my son’s first strides to crawl. I’m truly grateful for the chance to really see things another way, to appreciate things, and to be Cayden’s Mom. I am grateful for God and his unfailing love, the joy he has brought to me through my son, his blessings in disguise, and for his sacrifices. And though some days may be rough, and I lose focus I look to him to help me on this journey with my son. This verse really helps me get through;

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9